Tonight I stood looking out my window
As a girl on a stretcher was put into an ambulance
Wishing I believed in a god

More times than not the couple has sat in silence, like now in his car, both upset about things so petty they won't remember them tomorrow. Sitting in front of a deserted park, they each wait, wishing the other to state their feelings so they won't have to admit their own. It's a nice park, and a very nice day. Nice enough that neither of the young adults have on any type of jacket. Nice enough that its strange for the park to be void of little children running around, giving their parents a break.
"What are you thinking?"
"A bunch of stuff."
These two lines have been exchanged between the couple more than most others, with "I'm sorry, I'm sorry" and "I really do love you" coming in close behind.
A truck pulls up a couple parking spaces in front of the couple and what looks like a 4 year old little girl and her father shut their doors and walk onto the wood chips. She runs away while he sits on the bench and watches, but not too intently.
"Why are you upset?"
"What?"
He's mumbling. He always mumbles and She never listens very closely.
"What are you upset about?"
"Just...stuff."
She wishes she hadn't brought it up at all. Her reasons for staying silent the whole ride now feel very insignificant. Embarrassed, She turns away. He sighs. He thinks She's mad at him.
It's almost amazing how their relationship can change so easily. Thirty minutes ago the young lovers were kissing in his garage. Thirty minutes later the two sit silent with their lips far, far apart.
She loathes herself for how she makes him feel. But she never remembers until after the deed is already done. Time after time, She insists on pointing out his tiny flaws while He sits their telling her she is perfect. No one deserves that.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry."
The little girls lets out her squeal of excitement as her dad pushes her on the swing. Each time he lets go her little legs kick and her arm muscles tighten as she holds on for her life. Thrilled and trembling, the daughter loves her father for his attention.
The young adult watches and loathes and resents.
She's not even thinking about Him anymore. She's the little girl playing while her father pretends to care for her.
She hears the door open and slam before she can even remember something is wrong.
"Shit."
An engine starts and as she looks up the daughter and father and pulling away. They're leaving.

July Seventh

The eye of the storm.
The calmness of it all.
Beauty. Peace. Happiness.
My heart beats in the eye.
Those consumed in the wind,
They pay no attention to it,
To the goodness.
All they see is pain.
All they see is suffering.
All they see is all they are.
Look into the eye.
Look into my heart.

The Sun God

My life has been a venture through the woods,
Never finding a way out.
I've just been stuck in the thick of it all.
Surrounded.

The sun and the moon,
They yell instructions.
Ways to escape.
Which paths to take,
what rivers to cross.
But the moon is pulling me one way
And the sun the other.

I am suffocating in the brush.
I can not see from their perspectives.
I know not where I am going,
Only where I am being led.
I rely on two opposing factors.

Only when the sun and the moon
Are enlightened upon the same goal
Will I ever reach freedom.

I shall never escape.

My joints are creaking and my lips are chapped.
I'm ready for a new phase of life.

Another Nightmare.

My clothes are wet from the rain.
I'm blinded.
You smell of cologne and cigarettes.
The seats of your cheap car scratch my bare thighs.
My mind sways.
I reach out to steady myself.
My hand rests on the dashboard.
You reach out to cover it with yours.
I can't feel.
I can't breathe.
I look into your eyes.
That's the last thing I remember.

I-57

The blue/black sky makes me think of my childhood.
It's simple
But feels as if it goes on forever,
Full of wondrous stars and memories.


My eyes burn from staring straight forward.